Friday, March 13, 2015

Feature Friday: Sorting Random Celebrities into Hogwarts Houses

The whole article is pretty funny, but I've only included a portion of it, and its sorted celebrities, here.  (Also, will someone please tell me why almost all the comedians got put in Hufflepuff?)  Click on through for the full article.

From Entertainment Weekly:
"...it’s worth mentioning that only a small portion of the stars on this list would ever reach superstardom in the world of Harry Potter. Wizards are really into things like musicians and athletes and, weirdly enough, historians. Actors aren’t really a thing. Eschewing a Walk of Fame, wizard A-listers know they’ve made it when they’re featured on the back of a Chocolate Frog Card, likely because they either invented or killed something. And so, fame would elude most of this list, unless Meryl Streep has a secret background in slaying feral Hippogriffs (which is likely).Using the power of imagination and a deep well of fully formed opinions about celebrities I’ve never met, I have chosen to act on my prejudices and make the painful decisions you didn’t know you needed made for you. Thus, here is a list of 150 celebrities and their unequivocal, indisputable placement in Hogwarts houses."
SLYTHERIN

Kris Jenner
Bert from Sesame Street
Charlie Sheen
Kristen Stewart
Alec Baldwin
Gaston from Beauty and the Beast
Matt Lauer
Victoria Beckham
Idina Menzel
Hulk Hogan
Betty White
Joe Jonas
HUFFLEPUFF

Josh Hutcherson
Tom Hanks
Jimmy Fallon
Ernie from Sesame Street
Katy Perry
Mindy Kaling
Jack Black
Zooey Deschanel
Ty Burrell
Pocahontas (original)
Pocahontas (Disney)
Ben Affleck
Queen Latifah
Tyra Banks in Life Size
Bob Marley
Carrie Underwood
RAVENCLAW

Robert Downey Jr.
Harriet the Spy
Oprah Winfrey
Taylor Swift
B.J. Novak
Jim Parsons
Tina Fey
Natalie Portman
Andy Serkis
Christoph Waltz
Bryan Cranston
Lisa Kudrow
Stephen Colbert
George Clooney
Angelina Jolie
Morgan Freeman
Peter Dinklage
GRYFFINDOR

Matt Damon
Jay Z
Julia Roberts
Elton John
Serena Williams
Meryl Streep
Samuel L. Jackson
Emma Stone
Tom Hiddleston
Sting
Celine Dion
Ian McKellen
Jennifer Lawrence
Jon Stewart
Sara Bareilles

15 comments:

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    1. I laughed through the whole thing, too. :)

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  2. This was really funny. I'm a Slytherin, so I get to look forward to being in a house with Kris Jenner, Kristen Stewart, and Charlie Sheen. Oh joy.

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    1. Haha! That is quite the combination. I got sorted into Ravenclaw, but I've always felt like Slytherin is my secondary house, and have always felt fondly towards it.

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  3. Oh my gosh! Bert from Sesame Street in Slytherine. Hilarious. I just keep seeing that look he gives. You know the one right?

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    1. YES. I know exactly what look you're talking about! I love Bert. :)

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  6. Bert as a Sylthern... that's hysterical. In fact, all of the Slytherins made me laugh, it is such a good list. Hufflepuffs were also awesome, especially Jimmy Fallon. And Harriet the Spy as Ravenclaw is genius. Comedians are pretty dang smart people, although I would have guessed more comedians would be in Hufflepuff. I'm also very appreciative that Matt Damon was sorted into Gryffindor, since that is the house into which I was sorted, so now we have a realistic chance of meeting and falling in love. And I can now become best friends with Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone, which has been on my to-do list for months now. But I hate Samuel L. Jackson... I guess he's one of those weirdo Gryffindors like Padma and Lavender.

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    1. Haha, yes, Gryffindor does have some oddball weirdos. I wish you luck in your pursuit of Matt Damon. This pairing would be great, though I'm not sure where that puts Josh Groban. Wasn't he your inevitable paramour at one point? (Though I suspect Groban is a Slytherin. Maybe it wasn't meant to be after all.)

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    2. Ewww, Mel. You're unfortunately mixing me up with someone else. Josh Groban is g-r-o-s-s.

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    3. Ewww, Mel. You're unfortunately mixing me up with someone else. Josh Groban is g-r-o-s-s.

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    4. Haha! I could have sworn you two were betrothed at one point.

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  7. Also, WHY DO I ACT LIKE THIS IS A REAL THING?!

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